3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize