have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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