you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
