please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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