my sisters under your porch take her home
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And then my night got REAL pukey
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
