Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
