wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
