We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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