walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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