And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
