U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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