I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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