I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
