I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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