Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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