he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
