Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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