Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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