I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
