Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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