I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize