I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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