Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
