i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
