the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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