Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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