I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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