man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
