Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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