After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I understand Curling. That high.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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