the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The power of my boobs compel you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
