what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
false alarm, still single
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize