In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
