Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
