dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
