carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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