he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
