Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
