I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
