Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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