he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
