We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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