Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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