I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
