I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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