ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
