I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
