she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
