I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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