I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
