Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
