I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
