hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize