So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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