what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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