Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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