I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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