ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
