i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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