So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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