Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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