She is in my trunk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you win again, gameday.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
