Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
