do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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