I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
